Share Your Dilemmas Anonymously. Find your way.
Anonymously post your life's tough questions and let the community help you find clarity through votes and thoughtful advice.
Most Commented This Week
Teens
Should I speak up about the bosss terrible jokes?
So, my boss has this weird habit of making awkward jokes at meetings. Like, 'Actually, I was thinking about your presentation, but then I realized I left my coffee on the stove again.' Or 'I'm not sure if I should tell you this, but I think the office printer is haunted.' It's not that they're bad jokes, but they're just... off. And I'm not sure if it's just me or if everyone else finds them weird. I don't want to seem like I'm judging, but I also don't want to be the only one who's cringing. Should I say something, or just keep quiet and pretend I'm laughing along?
Job
Should I ask for a raise after 3 years?
I've been at my job for three years now, and I'm starting to feel like I've earned a raise. I guess I'm not sure if I should just ask for it or if I should wait a little longer. The company has been good to me, but I also feel like I've been stuck in the same position for a while. I've taken on a few extra responsibilities, but I'm not sure if that's enough to justify a raise. I guess I'm just torn between being honest about my value and not wanting to seem pushy. Any thoughts?
Love and Sex
Should I invite my aunt to my boyfriend's birthday party?
I'm torn. My boyfriend is throwing a party for his birthday and I want to include his family. My aunt is the only one who's been really difficult lately-she keeps bringing up my ex, making me feel bad about my choices, and just generally being a downer. On the other hand, he's been really open about his family and I don't want to hurt his feelings. I know she's not a fan of me either but I feel like I should at least try to be polite. Any thoughts? Should I just skip her or risk the awkwardness?
Dilemmas You Might Have Missed
Other
Gym crush
There is this guy I had a crush on at my gym. I am going to the gym for like 2 months now and initially he didn’t even look at my way but eventually he noticed me too and he asked classic question of how many sets you have left and we do exercises together almost all the time and he doesn’t talk to lot of people and he is cold as well to others. but now he is sweet to me, like help setting up machine and if I struggle he rushes to help, asks small questions and have small talks about gym and sometimes teases me even very subtly etc. but I am confused because I heard he has a girlfriend so I tried my best to keep a distance and I am in the process of getting over him and I never initiate any conversation because I know I must respect his relationship and the woman involved. but this person is becoming nice by day by day!!!
Computers & Technology
How to send messages between users?
We're building a business application that needs communication between users. It's not a chat app, but users need to be able to send messages to each other, and those messages need to be stored and delivered reliably, including when the recipient is offline. I'm curious how other developers handle this. Do you usually: * design and build the messaging infrastructure yourself, including storage, delivery, reconnects, offline messages, etc. * use an existing service such as Firebase, Ably, PubNub, Pusher, or something else? If you use an existing service, which one and why? If you build it yourself, what made you choose that route?
Love and Sex
I masturbated with a 'dildo' and I bled
I'm sorry for anyone who reads this. I am sincerely asking for advice and some stories you can share with your experience before. I would also like to apologize for my language as I might have been to explicit with my use of words. I might have sounded overdramatic. I don't know if it's because I am about to have my period. I have always had restraint on myself when it comes to pleasuring myself, because most of the time. I don't really feel aroused; therefore, the lack of need for me to masturbate to release that. There comes once in a while, or every month just before/after/during period, I feel very aroused and I badly wanted to be fucked. I am sorry for the language. It's like an itch inside waiting to be scratched. For context, I am practicing celibacy, and I don't really feel sexually aroused all the time or most of the time. Just today, I tried for the first time using a 'dildo' to pleasure myself. It took quite a few minutes before I reached orgasm, but it felt ecstatic. I realized that when I kept going, it smelled bloodier and it's not as easily sensitive as it was before climax. I thought maybe I am done for the night. However, when I pulled it out, there's a string of blood mixed with fluids on my 'dildo'. I was thinking it might be my period coming up, but am afraid I might have wounded myself or what they usually say that women who didn't lubricate themselves enough would bleed? I don't know which I am between the two cases. I sincerely hope you guys would be able to share your experience. I'll check myself for the time being.