Share Your Dilemmas Anonymously. Find your way.
Anonymously post your life's tough questions and let the community help you find clarity through votes and thoughtful advice.
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Friends
Should I ask for a raise?
I've been at my job for a year and a half now, and I feel like I've earned it. My boss is great, the work is interesting, and I've taken on extra responsibilities without being asked. I know I'm not the only one who's doing this, but I'm not sure if I should just keep doing it quietly or if I should bring it up. I don't want to seem entitled, but I also don't want to keep working for the same pay. What do you think? I'm torn between asking for a raise and just hoping things work out on their own.
Just life
Should I tell my mom I'm not coming home for Thanksgiving?
I know this sounds bad, but I'm really struggling with this decision. My mom has been really nice about it, but I've been feeling really drained lately. I've been people-pleasing for so long that I feel like I have to go just to avoid hurting her. But I'm not sure if I can do that anymore. I've been thinking about it for days and I'm just so confused. I don't want to hurt her, but I also don't want to be that person who's always there for everyone else. I've been trying to learn to say no, but this feels like a big step. I'm not sure if I'm making too big a deal out of it, but I feel like I am. I don't know if I should just go and make her happy, or if I should stay home and take care of myself. I'm just so torn right now. Any advice?
Health
Should I tell my friends about my weird new habit?
I've been scrolling through TikTok for like 5 hours a day, and I don't even know why. It started as a joke, but now I'm this weirdly obsessed thing. I don't even watch the videos, I just scroll and scroll and scroll. I feel bad about it, but I also kinda like the dopamine hit. Should I tell my friends or just keep pretending it's not a problem? This might be irrelevant but I also feel like I'm missing out on life because I'm too busy watching people do weird dance challenges.
Dilemmas You Might Have Missed
Other
Gym crush
There is this guy I had a crush on at my gym. I am going to the gym for like 2 months now and initially he didn’t even look at my way but eventually he noticed me too and he asked classic question of how many sets you have left and we do exercises together almost all the time and he doesn’t talk to lot of people and he is cold as well to others. but now he is sweet to me, like help setting up machine and if I struggle he rushes to help, asks small questions and have small talks about gym and sometimes teases me even very subtly etc. but I am confused because I heard he has a girlfriend so I tried my best to keep a distance and I am in the process of getting over him and I never initiate any conversation because I know I must respect his relationship and the woman involved. but this person is becoming nice by day by day!!!
Computers & Technology
How to send messages between users?
We're building a business application that needs communication between users. It's not a chat app, but users need to be able to send messages to each other, and those messages need to be stored and delivered reliably, including when the recipient is offline. I'm curious how other developers handle this. Do you usually: * design and build the messaging infrastructure yourself, including storage, delivery, reconnects, offline messages, etc. * use an existing service such as Firebase, Ably, PubNub, Pusher, or something else? If you use an existing service, which one and why? If you build it yourself, what made you choose that route?
Love and Sex
I masturbated with a 'dildo' and I bled
I'm sorry for anyone who reads this. I am sincerely asking for advice and some stories you can share with your experience before. I would also like to apologize for my language as I might have been to explicit with my use of words. I might have sounded overdramatic. I don't know if it's because I am about to have my period. I have always had restraint on myself when it comes to pleasuring myself, because most of the time. I don't really feel aroused; therefore, the lack of need for me to masturbate to release that. There comes once in a while, or every month just before/after/during period, I feel very aroused and I badly wanted to be fucked. I am sorry for the language. It's like an itch inside waiting to be scratched. For context, I am practicing celibacy, and I don't really feel sexually aroused all the time or most of the time. Just today, I tried for the first time using a 'dildo' to pleasure myself. It took quite a few minutes before I reached orgasm, but it felt ecstatic. I realized that when I kept going, it smelled bloodier and it's not as easily sensitive as it was before climax. I thought maybe I am done for the night. However, when I pulled it out, there's a string of blood mixed with fluids on my 'dildo'. I was thinking it might be my period coming up, but am afraid I might have wounded myself or what they usually say that women who didn't lubricate themselves enough would bleed? I don't know which I am between the two cases. I sincerely hope you guys would be able to share your experience. I'll check myself for the time being.